Why I Won’t be Buying an iPad

1) More devices <> more fun. I have en ex-coworker who always talked about device convergence. She was looking for one device to replace all of the ones she had. Our household has 2 laptops, 2 functioning desktops , 2 non-functioning desktops, 2 iPhones, 4 TiVos, a portable DVD player, a PSP, a Kindle, an AppleTV and 2 work Blackberrys. Traveling with even a small % of the portable devices on that list is a spaghetti cable nightmare. Now you want me to add ANOTHER device to my arsenal? Not so sure I’m willing to do that.

2) I’ll lose it. I love small devices that I can carry around. But the iPad isn’t small enough to carry in my pocket. So it will sit on my counter or coffee table waiting to get picked up. And while sitting there, magazines and paperwork will get placed on top of it. And then it will be lost forever. And when I do finally find it (accidentally while looking for this years tax documents), the battery will be dead for sure.

3) People will stare at me. I remember when a friend of mine got the first iPod that played video. Everyone watched him like he was plated in gold. Now I’m not saying that people are still enamored with technology, I know they are not. But while people are staring at the iPad, they might notice that mole on my nose that I haven’t gotten removed, or the nose hair that’s poking out like Punxatawney Phil on February 2nd. There is just too much potential for scrutiny and I certainly don’t need that.

4) WiFi vs. 3G. This alone could be enough for me to say no. While I’m certainly not making minimum wage, I do need to be careful about the money I spend, especially on gadgets that I don’t need. My gut would tell me to splurge and buy the 3G with the monthly data plan, but would I really use it. So maybe I just get the WiFi for cheaper and download any apps to my iPhone and sync with the iPad later. But what if I want a book? I guess I have a Kindle for that. But I didn’t bring my Kindle with me to the DMV today. And I’d like to update my Facebook status in a 72 point font, but there is no WiFi here at the DMV. Crap, I should have gotten the 3G.

5) If will have to buy 2. I’m a lucky man. My wife is a tech lover. She’s not very knowledgeable about technology, she just knows she likes to play with all these gizmos and gadgets. If I told her that for $20,000 we could have a 100 inch LCD TV for the downstairs family room but we’d have to eat rice and beans for the next 2 years, she’d say yes with the biggest smile on her face. So instead of buying just one iPad, I’d need to buy her one also. And then each night, I’d sit on the couch next to her while she stared down at her lap for hours on end and I’d wonder, “my god man, what have you done?”

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